gonna get tattoos of dogs on my arms and then get really buff so when i see a fly cutie i can be like “excuse me, but do you know where a vet is? because i’ve got some SICK PUPPIES” and then i’ll flex so hard my shirt sleeves rip and they’re blown away by my arms, my devotion to dogs, and my sense of humor. nailed it.
so i was self-checking out at the grocery store and this comely stranger and I had been flirting a bit, and after they had finished checking out they went
" I DON’T HAVE FLOWERS TO GIVE YOU BUT I WISH I DID BUT HERE HAVE THIS."
AND THEY JUST GAVE ME A HEAD OF BROCCOLLI.
Guess who’s got a daaaaate
Everytime i see this i think this person looks so pretty and should be drawn in a disney style.